Mishaps of a housewife

Things don't go as planned. My mother's day was not what I expected it to be. Rather than announcing publically that another baby would be joining us in December, I'm walking through a miscarriage. Again. A third baby joins his or her creator in heaven. Mother's day morning was spent waking up and wondering if today would finally be the day that this whole physical process of loss would be done, after weeks of waiting. It was spent telling the 3 year old and 6 year old that another sibling wasn't strong enough to join them on earth. That, no, I don't know if it was a brother or sister. That I wish I did. That I can't wait to meet all 3 of these mysterious tiny people one day, while concealing the true desperation and desire to see their dear, unknown faces. It was spent assuring them that God is still good, still kind, that He still loves them and Mama and this gone too soon baby. Mother's day was not happy and glowing this year. No one ev

I took down this precious ornament from the Christmas tree last week (yes, we generally keep our Christmas tree up until AT LEAST January 15 every year!). It made me start thinking about Joseph more than usual, as some things do. Suddenly, like a light being turned on, I realized that I don't thank God for Joseph. For the tiny little being that He made. For the mark that Joseph left. For his memory. I thank God for other aspects of the whole experience of carrying Joseph and saying goodbye to him, but not for Joseph himself. That may sound awful. It's just truly never really occurred to me, since our time together was so brief. I considered that thought for a little while and almost as quickly forgot it again. Until two days ago. I was putting Oliver down for a nap, and as I leaned down to give him a kiss, I said, "I thank God for you, buddy." He smiled sweetly up at me and said just about the last thing I expected: "I thank God for Joseph." "

Joseph was due last Sunday, February 16, and this coming Saturday will be 6 months since we lost him. He has obviously been on my mind even more lately, so I wanted to share this beautiful poem that Katie, one of my sweet, wonderful sisters, wrote for me when he went to be with Jesus.   Born Straight Into Heaven   God trusted you with a special task That is not for lesser women. To carry His angel until it was time To be born straight into Heaven.   He gave you a burden to bear But still a gift all the same. A child to share with Jesus Who will never know any pain.   He may not have had a physical body Or lived a life here on earth. But oh, the stories you'll one day hear About his Heavenly birth.   Your child will never suffer, Or even have to grow old. Instead he'll get to learn to walk Upon the streets of gold.   Each day he'll play with Jesus, And hear an awesome bedtime story. So keep in mind he's happy; He

For a week, I have thought of writing this story. For a week, I haven’t known where to start, so I haven’t written anything at all. I’ve finally decided just to start with the basic, raw, painful truth of it, then continue from there. Last Thursday, August 29, I had a baby. My baby was a little boy and he was beautiful, but he isn’t with me now, except in my heart. I was almost 16 weeks pregnant, and there was no chance he could survive. We named our son Joseph Aaron. I went into labor around midnight. When we got to the hospital, Joseph’s heart was still beating strong. But nothing could alter the chain of events. It was too early. Devastating. Crushing. Terrifying. Impossible, until it wasn’t. Here are some things I know about Joseph: * He was 7.5 inches long * He weighed 3.2 ounces * He was born at 8:30 am * He has an older brother who never met him and will never know him on this earth * He was unbelievably beautiful * He was tiny * He was perfectly, fu

In honor of my sweet, sweet boy's six month birthday, I want to share how he made his debut into the world. I've been wanting to do this since he was first born, but... if you have had a baby, you know how that goes! Keep in mind, this account is long. It is primarily for my sake and Oliver's sake, so he can know the story leading up to his birth, and because I feel it is a type of catharsis for women to share their birth stories. This tale is also for those of you who knew what type of birth I wanted and may be curious how things ended up going, if you don't know already. So with that disclaimer in mind... My due date was October 25, 2011. I told myself from the very beginning of my pregnancy that I would not, under any circumstances, start to hope that he would arrive early. Yeah, right. That lasted until I was 32 weeks along. That was the very defining moment when I told Randy, "I am so ready to not be pregnant anymore." Incidentally, that was also t

This is my new favorite recipe for buns, and it's very adaptable. I use my bread machine for the dough. Ingredients: 1 1/4 cups milk 1 beaten egg 2 tablespoons butter 1/4 cup white sugar* 3/4 teaspoon salt 3 3/4 cups bread flour** 1 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast *You can substitute turbinado sugar or honey crystals **I use 2 cups of bread flour and 1 3/4 cup of whole wheat or white wheat flour Directions: Place all ingredients in pan of bread machine according to manufacturer's directions. Select dough setting. When cycle is complete, turn out onto floured surface. Cut dough in half and roll each half out to a 1" thick circle. *** Cut each half into six 3 1/2" rounds with inverted glass as a cutter. Place on greased baking sheet far apart and brush with melted butter. (I skip this step) Cover and let rise until doubled, about one hour. Bake at 350° for 9-12 minutes. Once done and cool enough to handle, slice buns. ***For hot