Senior Citizens' Day at Kroger
Just so you know...
Don't ever go to Kroger on a Wednesday.
Why not?
Because it is Senior Citizens' Day.
More specifically, I would advise that no one go to Kroger before noon on a Wednesday.
It's only a 5% discount, but, man, do they flock for it.
As soon as I walked through the automatic doors, I thought something felt a little funny.
I felt very... out of place.
I assumed that I was just the only young person who ever shopped before noon, but still more members of the older generation kept showing up! I was the only youth in the sea of discount-craving senior citizens. What on earth was going on???
Then I looked to the ceiling. If I had done so earlier, I would have seen the fifty or so signs declaring that it was SENIOR CITIZENS' DAY!!! SAVE 5% ON YOUR ENTIRE PURCHASE!!!!!!
Not really... I exaggerated. There were only about 20 signs.
And all of them had fine print on the bottom, which I'm sure no one, much less the targeted shoppers, could make out.
Needless to say, the first part of my grocery trip passed by veeeerrryyyy slowly.
But then, over the loud speaker, which had previously been playing music that I was sure was being silently deemed as crazy yungun's music, the store was abruptly filled with the opening notes of SHOUT.
(You know the song I'm talking about... WEEEEELLL, you know you make me want to (SHOUT) Kick my heals up and (SHOUT) Throw my hands up and (SHOUT) Throw my head back and (SHOUT) Come on now (SHOUT) ... )
I would never have anticipated such a response.
Quite suddenly, I felt like I was part of some kind of choreographed production.
It seemed as if every senior citizen from all over the store swiftly and somewhat unnervingly descended upon the aisle I was on.
I could almost picture the outsider's view: me, with my cart laden down, stranded smack in the middle of the cereal aisle with two lanes of senior citizen traffic passing me on either side.
I'm not really even sure how it happened so quickly.
I have never seen so many Dr. Scholl's loafers tapping at one time.
And I'm not lying- there was actually foot tapping going on on the cereal aisle at Kroger this morning.
I also think I heard one or two women singing the tune under their breaths.
Over an hour after I had arrived at the grocery store, I headed towards the checkout lines.
There were 6 self-checkout lines available to shoppers with 10-15 items in their carts, but let's face it... those things are difficult to operate even for the most technologically savvy folks among us.
Of course I, having several more than 20 items, not to mention a slight trepidation of the self-checkouts, was in line behind several senior citizens with fewer than 20 items.
I could almost feel their excitement and sense of victory as they received their 5% off.
Finally, feeling a tad more frazzled and humming SHOUT! to myself, I loaded up my groceries and headed towards home, thinking that perhaps, just for fun, I might come back to Kroger next Wednesday.
Maybe there will be a lively rendition of a number from Hairspray.
Don't ever go to Kroger on a Wednesday.
Why not?
Because it is Senior Citizens' Day.
More specifically, I would advise that no one go to Kroger before noon on a Wednesday.
It's only a 5% discount, but, man, do they flock for it.
As soon as I walked through the automatic doors, I thought something felt a little funny.
I felt very... out of place.
I assumed that I was just the only young person who ever shopped before noon, but still more members of the older generation kept showing up! I was the only youth in the sea of discount-craving senior citizens. What on earth was going on???
Then I looked to the ceiling. If I had done so earlier, I would have seen the fifty or so signs declaring that it was SENIOR CITIZENS' DAY!!! SAVE 5% ON YOUR ENTIRE PURCHASE!!!!!!
Not really... I exaggerated. There were only about 20 signs.
And all of them had fine print on the bottom, which I'm sure no one, much less the targeted shoppers, could make out.
Needless to say, the first part of my grocery trip passed by veeeerrryyyy slowly.
But then, over the loud speaker, which had previously been playing music that I was sure was being silently deemed as crazy yungun's music, the store was abruptly filled with the opening notes of SHOUT.
(You know the song I'm talking about... WEEEEELLL, you know you make me want to (SHOUT) Kick my heals up and (SHOUT) Throw my hands up and (SHOUT) Throw my head back and (SHOUT) Come on now (SHOUT) ... )
I would never have anticipated such a response.
Quite suddenly, I felt like I was part of some kind of choreographed production.
It seemed as if every senior citizen from all over the store swiftly and somewhat unnervingly descended upon the aisle I was on.
I could almost picture the outsider's view: me, with my cart laden down, stranded smack in the middle of the cereal aisle with two lanes of senior citizen traffic passing me on either side.
I'm not really even sure how it happened so quickly.
I have never seen so many Dr. Scholl's loafers tapping at one time.
And I'm not lying- there was actually foot tapping going on on the cereal aisle at Kroger this morning.
I also think I heard one or two women singing the tune under their breaths.
Over an hour after I had arrived at the grocery store, I headed towards the checkout lines.
There were 6 self-checkout lines available to shoppers with 10-15 items in their carts, but let's face it... those things are difficult to operate even for the most technologically savvy folks among us.
Of course I, having several more than 20 items, not to mention a slight trepidation of the self-checkouts, was in line behind several senior citizens with fewer than 20 items.
I could almost feel their excitement and sense of victory as they received their 5% off.
Finally, feeling a tad more frazzled and humming SHOUT! to myself, I loaded up my groceries and headed towards home, thinking that perhaps, just for fun, I might come back to Kroger next Wednesday.
Maybe there will be a lively rendition of a number from Hairspray.
Comments
You need to keep blogging! After you've been married for 10+ years, it will be so much fun to go back and look at your early experiences as a housewife! Just reading your one post took me back to that long ago time when the grocery store was still a novelty. That seems like so long ago...
Also... this is hard to imagine... but one day, your children will never believe you were so young! My children are always taken off guard when Charles and I mention something that happened before we had Matthew... as if our life began when we had a baby! Their reactions to our lives before kids are so funny.
Samantha E